Father and child |
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| Child's experience It is often thought, without absolute certainty, that childbirth is triggered by the baby according to how mature his lungs are. The whole delivery process is intimately linked to hormonal process within the woman and child's bodies. Going trough rhythmical contractions and pre-caesarean hormonal flux or being extracted from his mother's tummy without further warning, sometimes in extreme emergency is obviously not the same kind of experience for the baby. There are just as many different caesarean situations for baby as for mom and consequences can also vary. According to the chosen mode of narcosis, baby will be under both the influence of the products being used and mom's stress. This will show with an increased cardiac rhythm and a raise in stress hormones. He can also feel lonely, disconnected from his mom, specially in case of general anesthesia. All those factors can result in suckling difficulties, problems to breathe and to adapt to extra uterine life and / or a state of shock. Those difficulties are mostly shortlived, but will however have some repercussions on the begining of baby's life and his bonding with mom. The surgical block is not very welcoming for baby, strong lightings, cool room temperature, strange voices and hands for a first contact , beeing carried off to a reanimation table for more or less invasive procedures, being separated from his mom, and so on. In some cases baby will be placed in neo-natology department for intense surveillance. If baby has some adaptation difficulties when being extracted from the uterus, medical procedures will be precious and essential to help him. In such cases, the paediatrician has to intervene and will do so in a room next to the op room. The brand new dad may follow baby as much as possible and the parents will be updated on the evolution. However most of the time, at the caesarian, baby is fit enough not to be carried away immediately and separation with mom will hopefully be kept to a minimum. One can easily imagine the effect of stress and fear on the future new born, we have only just began to investigate the long term consequences for children born under particularly stressful conditions. In any cases this is light years away from the kind of welcome most parents wish to give, or have in mind for their child. Further away are some propositions to help baby make an easier start in life. |
Key-words Difficult welcoming of baby |
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| Father's experience Although Dad's part is widely recognized at the place of birth it does remain somewhat fragile. He may be under some level of social pressure to escort his wife in the labour room and feel ambivalent about where he belongs.This is hardly the place for deep discussions but there are a number of books and even so much too rare seminars and forums to discuss it. As far as a caesarean is concerned, one can imagine this is a relief for men: When programed in advance, they can organize their parental leave with their employer. If the caesarean is decided upon whilst in labour, it will mean the end of a relatively powerless state, being back into action is viewed as relieving and salutory. When the emergency becomes preponderant, men's stress and anxieties reach very high levels for they are fearing for the lives of the two beeings they love most in the world. Many men dread entering the block. Getting changed, putting sterile clothing on, mask and hat, adapting their behaviour to this highly medical world requires a considerable effort and is quite a stress factor. And what about their fear of fainting...... Generally, future dad will be looked after by the surgical block stuff, and they will explain what to do. Emotionally, this first hour is not easy : the worry for their operated wife, the uneasy marvel at their baby, the arrival of tiredness after general tension drops, the desire to be three to enjoy this special moment, the impulse to tell relatives of the birth, feeling alone and helpless when the medical team is busy elsewhere...... It would be most usefull to talk about it afterwards , but other preoccupations take over, besides it remains hard for some men to talk about their feelings.
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Dad's part Caesarean experience |
Experience shows that men will be patient and attentive to their wives's caesarian experience for a while, but then they will " have to move on , forget about it, not let it get the best of them ". This kind of attitude is almost inevitable because life takes over with all its professional obligations a few days later. Unfortunately, their "would be" conforting-future oriented message is not perceived as such and things are made worse by the woman's entourage : She can feel most isolated and misunderstood. A gap can take place within the couple, dialog might get difficult and a momentary estrangement might be its consequence. It can be considered that, to a woman, childbirth is an event that will validate her in her womanhood when everything goes well. A man, however, is only validated as a father on a social level. For a man, what is important is not happening at birth and his manhood is not subject to vulnerability. |
And then ... Gap between the couple
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contact(at)caesareansection.net
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