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There are some basic simple means to help going through a caesarean. Here you will find: Suggestions for the hospital stay Suggestions for coming home
Hospitals and clinics, there is a lot of improvement to be made in terms of the topography of the premises and of the management of the event in itself. Future parents, informing and preparing yourselves are the important key words, specially when a caesarian is being decided upon. |
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Suggestions for the hospital stay:
Those propositions are more to do with the organisations of hospital structures future parents will entrust the good running of their baby's birth with, while beeing unable to modify its functioning at the time being. However, when futur parents pay a pre-partum visit to a maternity ward, it would be a good idea to ask concrete questions about the receival of baby in the operating room, what dad will do during and after the surgery and breast-feeding assistance.
We can expect the medical team to routinely involve the woman and couple as much as possible in decision making, to take time to explain the necessary gestures and respect the woman's modesty. According to how the place is configurated, the placing of a urinary catheter, a rather uncomfortable gesture, can be made in good conditions after the anesthesia catheter is in place. After that, the future father will be assisted if he wants to stay with his wife during the caesarean as it is usually the case. Right after baby's birth, it is best to welcome the new born into the world as gently as possible. If baby is healthy, there is no reason why he should not be left with his parents, covered with heating blankets, during the rest of the surgery. Otherwise, skin to skin contact with dad in a secure warm placed should be favoured while waiting for mom to come out of the block, and with mom as soon as possible after surgery. Recovery rooms shoud be fitted, but are usually not, for the special needs of women who underwent caesareans and allow baby and dad to be present as well letting baby being taken to the breast for the first time. That is so important for the rest of maternal feeding, and be supported by competent, available staff. Since those remodelings are not at all generalized, mom might cruelly miss those first baby moments. Dad can compensate by shooting lots of " baby's firts time " pictures ( Baby's first caretaker, first nappy change, the weight chart and so on ). A small home movie is obviously wonderful and is easily realizable with modern numerical cameras. The first few days following the surgery will requre efficient pain-killers and assistance from the medical team to take care of mom and baby. Making mom mobile again is an important factor of recovery for her but is also significant in helping her nursing and breast-feeding baby comfortably. It may be quite useful for the parents to discuss with the doctor(s) ( obstetrician, paediatrician, anaesthesia technician ) specially if the caesarean was quite an emergency. Ideally, such a meeting would be offered automatically with the checking out visit. It remains however possible even months after leaving the hospital. You might need some time to realize what has happened and assert your needs. Your gynecologist shall receive a medical report of the surgery and you may ask her/him for a copy of it. Hospitals and clinics have to keep medical records for a number of years and it is possible to consult them at ulterior times. Do enquire about this procedure, it might be of the utmost importance for you to get a few things cleared. |
Key words
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Suggestions for coming home : For baby : It is never too late to achieve skin to skin contact between mom and baby. The longer mom and baby were separated, the more important it is to make up for lost time, as much as possible. Sometimes, the very future of the mother and child relationship is at stake. Later, this carnal contact might be lenghtened by frequently carrying baby. Special scarves and shawls allowing for the carrying of baby without putting the spinal column under too much pressure, can be found in shops. A bath enriched with Bach flowers ( rescue drops for exemple )or an appropriate essential oil Another thing to do is a very gentle light stroking of baby's skin during the first days of life and progressively moving on to baby massage after a few weeks. Both contribute to a carnal relationship and serve as a mending balm for mom and baby. Just make sure to create a calm, well temperated atmosphere for this moment of tenderness. If you are not confident enough to do this spontanously, get some help from your house call midwife or do enlist in a baby massage course to learn it. Homeopathy also has a lot of interesting remedies and parents who benefited from a pre birth course with haptonomy found comfort in it, after a caesarian. Nursing and breast-feeding are very favourable moments to talk to baby about what happened around his birth. Mom can tell him of her despair and sadness. She might acknowledge with the right words that it was not easy for baby either. Even if baby does not understand the sense of the words, he will instinctively grasp the intention in his mom's voice, this will be soothing and help him to relax, sometimes spectacularly so.
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carrying baby |
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After several days in bed in hospital, women often have back aches or neck pains. Why not offer mom a nice massage too ? Massaging the shoulders, neck and lower back with a massage oil can sometimes loosen physical as well as psycholgical stiffness. Massage oil, ( arnica e.g.) can be enriched with some essential oil, to be chosen according to the mood and needs of the time being. Lavander is often very recognized for its harmonizing and relieving qualities. Providing mom with some well being (rest, meals, cleaning, grocery shopping and so on) listening to her, accepting her tears, comforting her in her mom part and surrounding her with good intentions without pitying her, are attentions her whole entourage can afford.
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Well being Help Listening |
Visits from a house call midwife can be a huge help for mom and baby care as well as breast-feeding. The midwife will have a global vision of the situation and can give you individual counselling, within the privacy of your home. Whatever the circumstances are, her listening, empathy and professional experience can be quite a support during the post partum period. She may also guide you in choosing alternative methods while respecting your individual sensibility. There is a whole range of methods, to make post op convalescence easier, along with scar healing, lactation, emotional state and sleep amongst other things. In Switzerland, basic medical insurance plans for midwife house calls up to the tenth post-partum day and three breast-feeding consults. There are no medical prescriptions required and all care is entirely refunded witout any participation or franchise. It may be useful to hire a person to help at home for the first weeks following the caesarean in order not to solicit the scar with inappropriate moves. Your physician shall write up a medical coupon for it and, in Geneva, the Social health action center will provide you with this help. |
House call Midwife Support |
In a more symbolical approach to care, the couple might imagine a special moment to experience baby's arrival as they had imagined it pre-caesarian : dim lights and soft music, take the naked baby, perhaps from the above described bath, from between the legs, as if he had just been born and lay him gently on mom's tummy, surrender him with warmth, tenderness and intimacy... As a general rule, a stroll in nature, contact with water, natural light, sunshine and warmth are beneficial to recenter, to get in touch with our inner self and to find a positive distance the past events. |
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For dad : After this most difficult birth, dad needs to recuperate too. Besides his pride, he is well aware of his wife's physical and moral pain, of the parting with baby. Unlike his wife, his lack of sleep will not be balanced by hormones, therefore he will greatly benefit from a good night of sleep. The new dad is bound to have some amount of administrative tasks to perform himself around the birth certificate, but why not spare him some other chores ( chemist, shopping e.g. ) as to allow him to enjoy moments of tenderness with mom and baby. A relative or a friend will be delighted to serve. Furthermore dad can serve as an intermediary between his wife and baby during the first post-op days. Besides, being involved in baby care that early will allow him to create his own precocious relationship with baby and find his right place. Looking after a baby is something to be learned "on the field", practical experience is the only teacher. How very rewarding it is, when baby falls asleep in your arms, as trusting as only children can be.
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Dad's part
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Several testimonies talk of how interesting it is for each one to write their own experience down and put them together. Redo the chronology of birth, putting emotions into words and down on paper is a good way to heal, restart a couple dialogue, understand each other better and fill in "voids" and forgotten things. It has to be said that the couple's sexuality might change. This is already true during pregnancy and after a vaginal delivery, one might think it would be easier after a caesarean since women genitals are usually intact. There is, however, the psychological aspect of failure to consider, the feeling of not being a real woman, being cut off her body. What about the very real physical manifestations of the scar: large insensitive zone around it, healing scratching, hair regrowth, itching, all divers pains....... Most will be temporary, from a few weeks to a few month, this does explain why women will rather ignore this part of their anatomy. With a tender, gentle approach, it may be acceptable for the woman to have her partner massage cream or oil on it. This is a time where tenderness is of the utmost importance when the woman rediscover her changed figure.
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